F.I.O.R.E
UPCOMING EVENTS
PRESIDENTS
FIRST LADIES
AMBASSADORS
VALENTINE'S DAY
PHOTOS OF FIORE BIRTHDAYS
IN MEMORY
BUSINESS
TESTIMONIALS
NON CLUB CLUB FIORE.CLUB
This is a MUST READ for all the current presidents and aspiring ones. This has been revised and approved.
Nelson Sardelli Introduces The Concept.
UNDERSTANDING THE NON CLUB CLUB F.I.O.R.E WHAT WE ARE…. AND WHAT WE ARE NOT.
The NON CLUB CLUB F.I.O.R.E. is a NON CLUB club which holds NON MEETINGS meetings for NON MEMBERS members for no other reason than to gather a bunch of friends once a month for a good time and to have something to eat in a semi quasi disorganized chaotic atmosphere with no pressure of any kind with the sole purpose of doing just that. Everyone is welcome to all our meetings and events.
Special note: All widows of past presidents are always welcome as our guests. (Unless they received a lot of money from the Life insurance and have already used some of it for breast augmentation or re married in a cougar fashion or regular marriage).
To be a member of this suspicious organization you must have an extremely good attitude and very low expectations. Every male member becomes a President the moment he joins. The wives of members are First Ladies and single ladies are Ambassadors. We have No purpose, No rules, No agenda and No regulations. We have No Board of Directors, No advisors, No nothing. We are Not a charity. We are Not a political organization. We do not discuss politics, religion, nor sex…openly at our non-events.
We do not have any blood-letting ceremonies, or such… Unless you don’t pay your dues.
It is a real fun and totally irreverent Non Club Club which caters solely and exclusively to Italians and Non Italians. This rule is strictly enforced. Call us racists if you want to, we don’t care. We are adamant and intransigent about this rule. You MUST BE Italian or NON Italian, period. That is that, like it or not.
No exceptions. Capisce?
More importantly, if you are an uptight individual or just anal retentive, the NON CLUB CLUB F.I.O.R.E. is definitely not for you. Go somewhere else. There are a lot of good serious clubs in our city for you to join.
We do not have an open membership and are not open to the public. To join us you must be invited by a member in good standing.(or be somewhat connected). It is required that all new applicants have, at least, the signature of 1 sponsor of this non organized leaderless group.
Condition Si ne qua non. (Google Si ne qua non)
We require you RSVP when you are attending any of our luncheons and/or events so we can inform the venue of the number of meals to prepare for said event. (Should you have trouble understanding the concept of RSVP we will gladly explain it to you)
REASONS FOR DISMISSAL:
Ungentlemanly behavior, eating pizza with a knife and fork, or ordering pizza with pineapple will cause you to be immediately dismissed, barred from all our future events and sprayed with marinara sauce and cheap non virgin canola oil.
Please, read this carefully and familiarize yourself with its contents. (There may be a test)
COMFORTABILITY CLAUSE:
If you feel you do not agree with any part of this, there is a very strong possibility that you would not feel comfortable and would not want to be among us.
The F.I.O.R.E. is nothing but a group of friends who get along – chances are, we would also prefer you would not be among us either. Life is too short to dance with ugly people. Plain and simple and a little harsh.
We felt this explanation is necessary. Because we plan ahead, trying to avoid any future testicular or clitorical detonation on all parties concerned.
Finally, should you already have joined us and feel disenchanted with our group and wish to demit, please contact us and we will gladly return the unused portion of your paid dues.
ONLY IF you have read, understood and gleefully accept the foregoing, you will be ready to join us.
The Non Board Board of Non Directors Directors
NON CLUB CLUB F.I.O.R.E MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION
NON CLUB CLUB F.I.O.R.E MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION
Please read the conditions on becoming a member on the back of this
application before committing to the Non Club Club F.I.O.R.E.
Please note: In order to join, you will need to be sponsored by one existing
member of this non-organization organization.
I, _____________________________________________, having read, understood
and agreed with the required conditions of this suspicious group wish to apply for
membership into the F.I.O.R.E. as a PRESIDENT,
FIRST LADY (if married to a PRESIDENT) or Ambassador.
Name: ____________________________________________________
Home Phone: ___________________ Cell: _______________________
Address: ___________________________________________________
Your signature:_________________________________________________
Member /Sponsor:____________________________________
Member Signature:__________________________________________________
Membership fee: $25.00 Annuity: $20.00
Badge (Optional) (But strongly suggested): $15 ____
Print exactly how you want your name on the badge:
_________________________________________________________________
Total paid $_______ date paid ____/____/____ Cash ____ Check ____
NON CLUB CLUB F.I.O.R.E. MEMBERSHIP RULES
I understand that as soon as I am accepted I automatically become a member. I
also understand and agree that if my conduct sucks, should become bad or
unacceptable, I will be asked to resign and will do so gracefully.
We do not reserve seats. Open seating only, sit with friends or
make new ones.
I also understand, agree and accept and willing to pay the exorbitant fees
required to be a member, which are:
Membership Fee of $25.00 and the Annual Fee of $20.00 (total $45.00 to
initially become a member)
F.I.O.R.E. Name Badge (optional) is $15.00
REASON FOR IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL
1) Any member of the Non Club Club F.I.O.R.E. caught eating pizza with a
knife & fork
2) Putting pineapple on a pizza
3) Unbecoming behavior
Any of the reasons listed above – member will immediately be dismissed and
barred from all our events and sprayed with marinara sauce.
Please return this application with cash or check made out to FIORE
Non Club Club F.I.O.R.E.
3801 Fairway Circle, Las Vegas, NV 89109
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